It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
