If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
