I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
