It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
