So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
