i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
