I think I am morally bankrupt
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
