he thought i was a dude.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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