Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You need Xanax blowdarts
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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