i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize