and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
