If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
