i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
