I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
