ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize