I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
