so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
