How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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