Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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