I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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