I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
