He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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