I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
