I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
