Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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