never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
