i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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