the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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