I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
