Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
