your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
