im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
