yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
