Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
this just has baby written all over it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
