@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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