i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You ruined the universe
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
