Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
