This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
