I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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