Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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