i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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