I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
