one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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