he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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