I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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