I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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