its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
