Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
