It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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