we have officially mastered the walk of shame
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
