Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
