My first STD was from a foam party
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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