her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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