I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
