margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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