Michael Bay diarrhea
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Drunk is not a location!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
