And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
