I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
