i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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