he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
