babies were throwing up all over the place
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
