I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
