I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize