State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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