so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
