I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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