Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
