She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
