Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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