I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
