There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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