You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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