I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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