Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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