I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
