If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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