BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
